


Impossible Secret

by jaerie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2018-01-13 15:11:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1231117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaerie/pseuds/jaerie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Louis find themselves apart during the first break the band has truly had.  Making the best of it, they keep their temporarily long distance relationship as strong as they can while Harry holds back a secret he can barely hold back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impossible Secret

**Author's Note:**

> This is currently a one shot with the potential of a part two if anyone is interested in me continuing. I am not proof reading this posting as I just used it as a writing exercise so apologies in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors. Comments and constructive criticism welcome and appreciated. 
> 
> This is an AU work of complete fiction. It exists in a world where men are able to become pregnant. Don't let yourself focus on that as science doesn't have to make sense when its all in fun. I am clearly warning the reader about mpreg and m/m relationship content in this story. If you don't agree or support these topics or this ship, kindly move on. No disrespect is meant by writing or posting this work of fiction. I have no affiliation with One Direction or the characters in this story. Let's all just have a bit of fun!

 

Harry's dimples pop as he aims one of his signature goofy grins towards the screen of his laptop, waving his hand emphatically as he does. It had been over 2 months since he had seen Louis face to face and though he was always able to effortlessly produce a smile, the time apart made his heart feel heavy each time they ended a call. With how much they had used FaceTime and Skype in the last few months, it was beginning to feel like he should make an investment into each of the companies. Their reunion was fast approaching, though, the red ink taking over as he crossed off each passing day with Sharpie X before he turned in for the night.

 

It was the first time they had been apart for more than a few days since they had met but they both agreed that though it was going to be painful for both of them, it would actually strengthen their relationship. They never fought, not really, but they had learned to bicker with the best of them after being together so often. They never meant the arguments and they both knew that. Most times their spats and teasing turning into an elaborate foreplay script they acted out when they had a few moments alone but towards the end of tour, they were almost too tired to laugh it off. Fearing their exhaustion and subsequent foul moods would escalate to their demise, Louis had flown home to put in some quality time with his younger sisters and practice up for his football match while Harry had flown in the opposite direction. Staying at their newly purchased but rarely used beach house near L.A., Harry had welcomed any visitor who wanted to take a break from the dreary and bleak winter and take advantage of the warm sun California had to offer.

 

The idea had not initially been theirs, their management team placing an ultimatum, or very close to one, in front of them as everyone made plans to spend time with their family and friends with their rare time off. Being closeted in their position had its ups and downs but they had chosen to embrace this forced separation, focusing on the idea that absence really does make the heart grow fonder.

 

He closes his laptop and pushes it towards the wall on the desk. It was in these moments after speaking with Louis where he felt the loneliest, the ache in his chest pulsing stronger as the realization that he would be going to bed alone once again truly hit him. In reality, though it felt like it, he never really went to bed alone any more.

 

“Its just us again,” he says softly, the squeak of his comfortable yet expensive desk chair making him question if price truly meant quality as he leans back as far as the springs would allow. Stretching his long legs out, he rests his feet on the desktop, his hands finding a natural spot against his stomach. With the baggy sweaters he was fashionably able to sport lately, he knew no one had started suspecting his deeply kept secret quite yet.

 

It had been a little over six weeks since he had started suspecting, equating the first few weeks of nausea, exhaustion and other symptoms to home sickness for Louis combined with the after-tour crash. Though they both knew they wanted to have children together, their hectic schedules and young age had kept any serious discussions on the topic off the table. They hadn't been ignorant enough not to know it was a possibility but the longer they were together, the more careless they became. They had never had a scare which had given them a false sense of confidence or perhaps just made them blissfully immune to thinking of the possibilities. Through all of the emotions he had weathered lately, regret, anger, or really any negative feeling had not been included. The second the suspicion had planted itself inside his head, he held nothing but love and adoration for the small bean that he was growing within him.

 

He had yet to tell Louis about the new life they had created together though his comments about his glowing skin and radiant smile made him wonder if his lover knew something was a bit off. Surely he didn't think it was solely the sun that was responsible for his renewed look. There was no way for Louis to know, though. Sex had never been the focal point of their initial infatuation nor the serious relationship they now found themselves in several years later. They were still young boys but even so, from their muffled moans and wandering hands at the X Factor house to their intense love making sessions, it didn't define their relationship. This also meant that their Skyping sessions didn't turn into intercontinental mutual masturbation sessions which was proving to be a good thing as he could feel the baby bump rounding more with each day.

 

Paparazzi seemed to loom over him no matter where he went in L.A. which posed the first problem the day the puzzle pieces began coming together about his situation. He could function on a daily basis without his husband when it came to normal life but when he was hit with a curve ball, he crumbled under the reality of facing it alone. Crumpled on the bathroom floor with his phone in hand, he had found himself staring at his phone case as he wondered whether he should worry Louis before having some type of confirmation. He didn't want to interfere with his practices if, in the end, he had no reason to. His favourite picture of Louis stared back at him from the phone, his eyes bright and beaming while sporting the charming smile that had initially captured Harry's heart. Gemma had given him the phone case for his birthday in jest and though they joked about him actually using it, he genuinely liked having this beautiful face in sight even though they couldn't physically be together.

 

In the end, he had decided to wait until he knew for sure, climbing into the drivers seat of his rented Prius with the hopes of blending in enough to slip away from the city. Tears had slowly streamed down his cheeks the entire two hour drive before stopping in the smallest town he could find, his heart aching as he wished Louis could be there with him. He had learned to rely on the pillar of strength and protection the older boy had been to him and without that rope tied to his anchor, he felt hopelessly lost at sea.

 

He had been lucky enough to stop at a small grocery store where the older check out clerk didn't give him a second glance, even when his hands began shaking so badly with nerves that he could hardly pull any currency from his wallet. The entire trip back to the house was spent with anxious glances at the small plastic bag in the passenger seat almost as if he were checking on a small child riding with him. The pregnancy test had thankfully not disappeared during his journey nor had it disappeared as he sat on the edge of the jacuzzi bathtub, chewing nervously at his nails, eyes never leaving the side of the white plastic stick. His body began to play tricks on him, the anxious butterflies turning into phantom baby movements until the ends of his fingertips were raw with an angry red tint to his skin.

 

The face consuming smile that graced his face the moment his suspicions were confirmed made him realize that all of his nerves had been from excitement. The elation that pumped through his veins from head to toe was unlike anything he had ever felt. Even the joy that Louis' love gave him paled in comparison to the confirmation that they were going to be parents.

 

Hours ticked by as he spent the rest of the day, evening and then night overwhelmed by the emotions, thoughts, dreams and realities that were now open for his future. He was overjoyed and as the time passed, the more he knew in his heart that he couldn't break it to Louis over the phone or even through the video chats they had come to rely on. He would never be okay with looking back at the memory of telling his love about their first child without the memory of their warm arms around each other in the tightest, warmest, most comforting hug ever recorded. It was those thoughts that kept him in the constant state of procrastination, never following through with telling him no matter how many times he thought he had worked up enough nerve to break the news.

 

Harry was nearly four months along now, well out of the first trimester danger he had used as an excuse for a while for not spilling the beans. He was running out of excuses to tell himself now and if he didn't suck it up soon, the bean was going to spill his or her self any day. That was not how he wanted his committed partner to find out about their growing child. The good intentions he had originally had with keeping the pregnancy a secret was now turning into a huge elephant of a lie that he knew wouldn't be easy to talk away. Not without hurting his soulmate and perhaps damaging the open and honest bond they had shared since the beginning.

 

It had only been a few minutes since he had sent Louis to bed across the world with a virtual kiss but he already missed his face. Absence wasn't making his heart grow fonder. Instead it was adding a deep ache to his daily life that felt like a hole was being dug through his chest just as fast as his growing baby could fill it. It was with those feelings that he pushed himself to his feet, a smile growing on his lips as his small belly now made its presence known even with the small motion of standing. His hand felt glued to the bump whenever he was away from prying eyes and it was no different as he began stuffing his clothing back into the suitcase that was still open at the foot of his bed. Refusing to really settle in by himself, he had been living out of his suitcase as he had on the road, attempting to mask their separation as just a quick trip to the states.

 

His bags were in the car before he let himself think twice about it, the excited smile on his face making his dimples crease even further into his glowing cheeks. LAX was first stop before his final destination: Home. Home to tell his baby about their baby. Theirs.

 


End file.
